Sorry to leave you hanging

Hi everyone.

I'm really sorry to leave you all hanging as to what happened with my hike. It took me some time to muster the emotional strength to come back to the blog after getting off the trail.

See, I ended up turning around on Day 7 and going back to the last resupply point, Red's Meadow Resort, which was also an easy exit point. From there I hopped on a bus and then hitch hiked my way down to Mt. Whitney to retrieve my Jeep.

Why in the world would I do that? I spent months upon months preparing for this hike! I was so excited for a great summer in the Sierras. How could I just stop? How could I just turn around like that? It was an extremely difficult decision for me, but I knew it was the right one. There were a few key things that caused me to do an about face...

First, on the Saturday before I started my hike, I somehow twisted my bad knee (old soccer injury) and I couldn't even put pressure on it. My friend had to help me get back in the car and gave me a compression strap to put on it. I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to hike and became so nervous about it not getting better or me hurting it more. By Sunday it was feeling a little better, though I could still feel some pain. Monday came. The first day of the hike! I was feeling ok actually. Most of the first day is all up hill. And it's pretty wicked. By the end of the day, I could feel some pressure in my knee when I was stepping up. I had hoped that a good night's rest would be helpful, and it was. At first. By the end of the 2nd day, I could still feel it. I would take Ibuprofen every night, but it just wasn't enough (Come to find out I should have been taking MORE than what I was). Day 5 was pretty much downhill and at the end of that day I was going to be able to eat a cheeseburger. I was soooo hungry (Of which I will explain more of in the next paragraph) and I pretty much booked it downhill. I did 18 miles in that day in just 9 hours. That includes stopping for water, snacks and lunch. That's pretty quick when you're carrying a 40lb pack on your back. By the time I got to Red's Meadow Resort, BOTH of my knees were bothering me. They never got any better and going uphill on Day 7, I started to get extremely nervous that I was going to run into big problems further down the trail once the terrain got more challenging. Unfortunately, the further down the trail you get, the harder it is to get off the trail if you run into trouble. My knees were one of the reasons I made the decision to bail.

When you hike at this level, you can burn 2,000-3,000 calories a day. That means you need to be eating at least that much or more calories a day. I had all of my meals planned out and my calories planned out so that I would not be hungry and would lose a little weight. The first day was going fine. I had a breakfast on the go packet and a nut packet for breakfast. I had part of a cliff bar for snack, pepperoni tortilla wraps for lunch with gatorade. I was drinking (I thought) plenty of water and my electrolytes. When I got to camp that night, I cooked my first meal: White cheddar Velveeta Shells and Cheese. I couldn't eat it. I was getting so nauseated just looking at it. Just smelling it. I put the spoon to my mouth and almost vomited. So I figured I was just exhausted from hiking 12 miles that day and went to bed. When I woke up in the morning, I was no better. It was a chore for me to eat anything, so I didn't. The people I was hiking with had some Goo packets (high calorie shots in a pouch) and gummy blocks. So I had a couple of those, which helped me get to our spot for lunch. By lunch time my appetite found me again, so I had some more pepperoni wraps. And when we got to camp that night, which had a camp store and resupply station, I had some cheetos, but that was about it. No dinner. The next day I ate breakfast and lunch, but again, no dinner. This repeated itself every day. I just was never hungry at night. I'm not good at force feeding myself. I never was. So I just didn't' eat. On any regular day, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, when you're burning so many calories, this is the worst thing you can do for yourself. So, needless to say, I was running VERY low on energy.

My lack of calories combined with dehydration caused me to almost pass out on the trail on day 7. I had been drinking and drinking and drinking. My water reservoir and bottle were always filled. Yet, I couldn't keep hydrated. I was only urinating once in the morning and once at night. I don't know why. I really thought I was drinking more than enough water.

When I got lightheaded on the trail, I knew in my heart that I needed to turn around. So, I did. It was such a hard decision. I cried for a long time hiking back. But I knew it was the right decision for me.

I plan on going back next year to hike it with Donny and his group. Hiking solo is ok. You meet people to hike with and camp with, so it's not scary. But it can still be lonely. I should have been more social with the people I hiked with when we got to camp, but I was usually too exhausted to hang out around the campfire and talk, so I just went to my tent to journal and go to sleep. I think hiking with people that I already know and am close with will be much better for me. We'll see... I'm excited to be planning JMT 2015!

I am going to go through all of my pictures and my journal and make a post for each day that I was out there. I met some great people and saw some amazing things. Check back soon for more updates!

Hike on!